Ineffable

in·ef·fa·ble/inˈefəbəl/

Adjective:

Too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words. Too sacred to be uttered.

 As you've probably heard, I've been going through a training program for my teaching job this summer. A couple of weeks ago the word "ineffable" was brought up during a training discussion and, while I don't remember the context of the discussion, the word immediately resonated with me . . .

"Too great to be expressed in words."

. . . see, yesterday marked one year since our friend Jeremy was killed in action in Afghanistan. For the past year I've really struggled in expressing my thoughts and feelings on his sacrifice. While I certainly did not know Jeremy as well as Chris did (they'd known each other since high school) and Jeremy was not the first loss I've ever dealt with, his death has truly had a profound impact on me, one that I haven't been able to explain, and may not ever be able to. Not only have my thoughts wandered through the questions of life and death, but I've also pondered the true sacrifice of our military and their families, the direction of my own life, my views on religion, what it means to live life to its fullest, and, most importantly, love.

I always admired Jeremy and Colleen's love for one another. From the first moment I met Colleen, I knew they had something truly truly special. I didn't even have to meet Jeremy, who was deployed at the time, to see their love for one another; I saw it in the way Colleen talked about him, the perpetual smile she had on her face. Now that Jeremy is gone, I still see their love through their amazing little boy and Colleen's words of immense wisdom and inspiration in her updates on life now without him. Love like that is a remarkable thing and one to which we should all hold tightly if we are lucky enough to have it. Love like that is something we can all learn from; I know I have.

Love is ineffable. Jeremy's sacrifice is ineffable. The gratitude I feel towards him, his entire family, and our entire military for providing me with the freedom to live and love, is ineffable.